Why do I love reading?

To be perfectly honest, I haven’t quite figured out what direction this blog post will be going in. I know the topic of conversation obviously; ‘Why do I love reading?’ (I guess you could call it the partner post to my previous post ‘Why do I love writing?’). I think that’s one of my favourite things about blogging though, I typically end up writing something different to what I intended to, or I end up writing something I didn’t expect. It could be complete waffle (it’ll probably be complete waffle). Who knows?

One of the main reasons I would argue that people should read is purely for the enjoyment of it. For me, I primarily read fiction and poetry. Though I do also read blog posts, articles, magazines, etc, I don’t go out of my way to read them for the sole reason of enjoyment like I do with poetry and fiction novels. Fiction novels make me FULLY forget where I am and I am completely immersed in the world created by the author, which is one of the reasons I love it. I read a quote by George. R. R. Martin when I was younger; “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one.” I wholeheartedly agree with that quote. I have felt every emotion through a book. I have laughed. I have cringed. I have fully cried and found myself mourning over characters I’d grown attached to after following their story until the end. I have felt anger. I have felt embarrassment. I have felt so satisfied after reading a novel that I don’t feel the need to read another for MONTHS (but that doesn’t mean I don’t love reading, I just need time to move on from a book sometimes). This all sounds incredibly cheesy, truthfully, it probably is. It gives me a break away from my phone and I really enjoy the time I spend on myself, in my bed, a great book, and a cup of tea.

Though, I myself would argue that reading for entertainment purposes itself is reason enough to read and I wish I could just answer my own question ‘Why I love reading?’ as simply and as quickly as that, I’m fully aware that people don’t enjoy reading and only read things when forced to (usually for academic reasons, even then it’s usually ‘skim reading’, if they’ve read at all). I’ll admit, for things I have no interest in, I skim read them and half pay attention to them because it’s not something I’ve chosen to read. Even sometimes in books I skip the boring parts because if it doesn’t stimulate my brain or make me want to read it then… why should I? However, if the first term of my degree (specifically the Creative Writing side) has taught me anything it’s that academic writing can actually be enjoyable (I know *wow* that’s a really bold statement but I swear I’m not actually lying here). What I mean by this is that I enjoy the discussions that reading say academic essays as an example allow. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a massive fan of Plato’s Republic, but I enjoyed the seminar conversations that led from it. I also enjoy how it informs my other writing; I feel like I have a better insight to literary concepts now. I also enjoyed Percy Shelley’s A Defence of Poetry because it gave EVEN MORE points of view and oppositions to Plato’s ideas. It feels like with every new academic piece I am reading, I actually understand why I myself am writing and what I wish to gain from that (which is probably a good thing being as I have an essay due in January on the topic).

Like, why are you reading this right now? Are you bored? Are you trying to support my writing? Do you have a genuine interest in what I have to say? I mean, I’m just some 18 year old that feels the need to let everyone know what she thinks for no reason other than to express herself and practise writing, what’s so special about that? Or did you accidentally click on it? All of which would be valid answers but it really illustrates that people read more than they realise. Yes, we live in a world that is constantly absorbing information online and we see heaps of texts on twitter, facebook, snapchat etc; but do you realise how much that truly is? How many snapchat articles do you read a day? How many news articles do you click on on facebook? How many more of my stupid rhetorical questions are you gonna read before you realise I have no real point to this blog post?

I am very passionate about all forms of reading (unless that wasn’t clear already). All forms of reading, whether classic literature, a casual article, a review, or a blogpost that maybe 10 people will read… can affect people in a multitude of ways. They can alter long-held beliefs. They can evoke emotion. They can provide information. They can inspire. They can do so much if given the chance to be read, which is why I love to read.

 

Why do I love writing?

Why do I love writing?

It’s 3am as I write this (because if you know me you’ll know that my sleep schedule is a pile of rubbish). It’s 3am and I’ve decided that instead of sleeping, I wanna spend my time writing this blog post that only like 5 people will probably read.

I love it.

It’s a massive question to ask myself really, why I love to write and what it actually does. I always think that talking about myself writing is pretentious and honestly it probably is but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop talking about it, because it’s one of the things I enjoy most.

We sort of had to answer this question in one of our creative writing seminars and had to really reflect on that question with George Orwell’s Essay (aptly titled) ‘Why I Write?’ (1946). He splits it into a few different motives behind writing and I guess the ones that I relate to the most are ‘Sheer Egoism’ and ‘Aesthetic Enthusiasm’. The former meaning that I like how the idea of ‘being a writer’ makes me sound, which is admittedly kinda selfish because it’s for other people’s perception of myself, but I think the more I write and the older I’ve gotten, the less important that part has become. Admittedly though, I strive to eventually have the title of a ‘poet’ or an ‘author’, I feel like I’ll probably never earn it though? I’m not sure, I have a few conflicting opinions about myself regarding that. I mean, I’m writing an entire blog post about myself, so wouldn’t it be inherently incorrect to say that I don’t have at least some elements of Orwell’s idea of ‘Sheer Egoism’? With regards to the latter ‘Aesthetic Enthusiasm,’ it basically means that I like the details of writing. When I’ve written what I believe to be a good poem, it’s usually one in which I’ve presented my ideas in a way that brings pleasure to me. I know I’ve written a good poem when it was difficult to write too. Though poetry is a subjective thing, my favourites are the ones that present something in a way that leaves me impressed.

So those are two reasons behind why I write, but I think the answer to why I love writing is because of the solace it gives me emotionally.

The very reason I started writing poetry was to sort of vent out an experience I had with someone who spread a pretty nasty rumour about me, and to this day I STILL think those are the best poems I’ve ever written? Maybe I’m biased because they were my first (they’re in my first ever blog post if you wanted to check them out). I entered those poems into a competition, I was one of the winners, and this is when I fell in love with writing. Maybe I should thank that guy for the rumour because without it, maybe I wouldn’t be the same writer I am now – I’m not gonna say that I wouldn’t have started writing because of him though, because I know I would’ve. Mainly because it allows me to document my emotions and thoughts. I’ve written poems about my mental health when it wasn’t in the best place and now that I’ve reached what I’d call the happiest I’ve been in years, I can reread them and see how far I’ve come. Maybe they don’t make sense to anybody else except me but that’s okay because I write for myself. I’ve written about my family, my friends, my highs, my lows, my fears, my memories, and about things that I’ve noticed and just wanted to write about (like those weird shape/patterns birds make in the sky when they flock together? I don’t know, I just think they’re pretty). I reread my own writing all of the time (“sheer egoism”), to just see how different everything is (and then I’ll probably draft the poems I think are shit now).

If there’s something I’ve learnt about writing is that you’d never write the same thing if you’d written it at a different time. I worded that awfully, but I mean, if I’d decided to write this blog post in a few days’ time, it would probably be very different because between now and then, some part of me or some memory or some ideas, would’ve changed. So, I like documenting the now, and figuring out what it is that I want to say in this exact moment. 

Right now, I would just like to say that I feel happy.

That is why I’ve written this today.

Sidenote: That’s probably the simplest way I’ve ever ended a blog post.

😊

Life Update

I started University of Manchester on the 13^th of September.

I left University of Manchester on the 28^th of September.

I moved to Royal Holloway University of London on the 9^th of October.

I have been at Royal Holloway for almost 2 weeks now and these have undoubtedly been two of the best weeks of my life. Call me cheesy (because I am and I’m ready to admit it) but it’s true. Within an hour of arriving I had already felt more at home here than I ever did in Manchester. My flatmates Molly, Kirsten, and Eugenia all helped me move in and we stayed up until like 1am talking (alongside Sandhiya, Poppy and Sophie). Molly has been a godsend and has made adapting to such a different environment so much easier for me (thanks for showing me how to use literally everything at Kingswood Halls and introducing me to everyone), and I didn’t actually properly know Sophie for the first few days here which I find mental because I cannot imagine this uni experience without her. I know it seems like such a short amount of time to connect to people, but I already know that Molly, Soph and I will be friends for a really long time (this is me being cheesy again). I guess it’s difficult to describe the connections you make with people, but I don’t think I could be with either of them and not laugh so hard that I can’t breathe. I mean if you have me on any social media you can probably tell I’m low-key obsessed with them (I apologise for the spam) but it’s chill because I’m pretty sure they’re the same. I think it’s actually INSANE how people you’ve known for two weeks can be better friends to you than people you’ve known for years.

That’s not to say though that I don’t miss anyone from Wales because I obviously do. I talk about my mam all the time and I miss my family’s closeness and openness quite a lot. I also think that my friends here know Jo and Gwen through the amount that I refer to them and talk about them. It’s weird because I really thought I’d rely on them a lot more after moving here like I did in Manchester but because I’m happier I don’t ring them up and cry anymore (that may be a bit personal but now I can laugh at myself). I’m really busy most days, which is weird because if somebody asked me what I was doing, I couldn’t really explain? I’m enjoying myself though, enough to be more independent… that’s what I’m trying to say.

I was actually pretty hesitant about if I’d like my accommodation at Royal Holloway at first because I knew I’d have to take a University bus from my accommodation to get to my lectures and seminars which I didn’t think I’d like but I actually really do, I keep bumping into people that I kinda know and we end up making conversation the entire journey. There’s a really nice community feeling here which I love, so it kinda makes up for being the furthest away accommodation from the university.

Contrastingly though, straight after my first Creative Writing seminar, I knew with 100% certainty that making the move from English Literature and Drama to Creative Writing and Drama was one of the best ‘life-decisions’ I’ve ever made. I was really excited to start my work (which is probably one of the most ‘Ceri-Anne is a massive swot’ things I’ve ever said but still), admittedly I left it until last minute like most uni students but I enjoyed writing it and I’m excited to get it back. I have the same feelings towards studying drama here too, I can’t really compare to the Manchester course because I didn’t get to properly experience it but I love it. I love the introductory practical work we’ve been doing and even though I’m not *totally* fussed on studying Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, I like the kind of text and theatre work we’re doing too.

I’ve had a LOT of people (family, friends, strangers etc) call me “Brave” for making the move from Manchester to Royal Holloway, which I actually really appreciate. I’m not gonna lie when I say it’s been A LOT of stress to actually manage to do and I think people are sick of me talking about it but it’s not every day you decide to completely change the course of your life so maybe my repetitive nature here is a bit more understandable (I’m trying to justify it, sue me). Moral of the story, if you don’t like something… change it. To paraphrase what Molly’s mam said; a lot of people try to ‘stick out’ places when they aren’t happy there. I’m SO glad I wasn’t one of those people.

This is the best decision I have ever made (plus, Kingswood make tasty Veggie fajitas so how can I complain?).

Moving Forward

Wow.

So, it’s been a while since I actually wrote a blog post. A lot has happened in the time since I last posted something.

With regards to the important stuff, I think the most important thing is that I’ve decided to pursue creative writing. With this blog and my Instagram poetry account (@unpretty.poems, shameless plug) in mind, I feel that this is something so painfully obvious to me and I’m annoyed at myself for not realising that this is my calling sooner. It’s like when you’re searching for something in the fridge and for the life of you it isn’t there but as soon as you take a step back – it’s been on the shelf right in front of you the entire time. To me, this is kinda like that.

As I’m writing this I’m currently studying English Literature and Drama at the University of Manchester. Also, as I’m writing this, I know this isn’t where I want to be. The main reason being that Manchester doesn’t offer Drama and Creative Writing, knowing that this is the course I wish to follow. I also haven’t really connected with the city, and I feel pretty isolated here leaving me with a depressed mix of emotions, I guess that just plays a part in my thought process for leaving.

Therefore, I’ve decided to do what a few of my friends have called “risky” and “ballsy” (which aren’t exactly two adjectives you’d think of first when you think of ‘Ceri-Anne Gatehouse’, but I suppose they do actually apply here).  I am switching universities.

It’s weird because I’ve ALWAYS been someone decisive in the sense that when I’ve decided something I typically see it through and I’ve never really had any problems with thinking about my future because I’ve always had such a concise and clear plan in mind.  (In a really non-braggy way) Anything I’ve worked hard for and wanted, I’ve managed to achieve somehow, so through doing this I was pretty sure that this was another one of those things that I’d work hard for and get. It was. ‘Was’; past tense. I genuinely thought a few weeks ago that Manchester and Drama and English Literature was this plan, but I see now that it’s not. When I first arrived, I had a great weekend and met some great people who I’ll be extremely sad to miss (especially my girl, Olya). However, I got tonsillitis last week which not only meant that I missed out on freshers but also that I had SO MUCH time to think about who I am, what I want, and what I’m doing. I started to think about all of the things that make me happy; The Beacons Project, fiction, POETRY, Hay Festival, (ignoring the fact I haven’t posted in forever) blogging, and during this slumber I even came up with a book idea that I’m going to follow and see where it takes me. I am surrounded by creative writing in my day to day life and it brings me so much fulfilment that I am fully shocked that I didn’t realise this sooner. I want to work on my writing and I want to push myself creatively further than I have before so that one day I am the interviewee at Hay Festival rather than the interviewer.

After (numerous) sad and crying phone calls to my mam this idea of ‘why don’t I just pursue it?’ came to mind. I’d only ever really mentioned creative writing at degree level once to one of my best friends; Joanna, but I felt I’d already made my bed with English Literature and Drama; which I obviously enjoy otherwise I wouldn’t have decided on it in the first place. Yet, here I am… writing a blogpost… about leaving. I did actually go to an English Lit lecture on Monday just to see if I’d have a change of heart, but I hadn’t. As I sat studying Francis Bacon’s Essay ‘Of Friendship’ (1625); I knew I didn’t want to just study the work of other people but fully work on my own.

Naturally, this has caused a bit of a rush and a stressful week because I’ve been in Manchester for two weeks, but my insurance choice Royal Holloway, University of London is 1) still accepting applicants through clearing and 2) offering me a space on their course ‘Drama and Creative Writing’. So, tonsillitis and all the support from my family and close friends in mind… that is where I’m going to go. Massive shout-out to the following people for being nothing but honest and supportive during this time especially; my mam (sorry for not letting you sleep along with me), my nan, Goggy, Joanna & Gwen (all of those phone calls), Camila and Ieu (words of complete wisdom and logic), and anybody else that I did or almost cried to about the situation and my future.

I’m still in the process of applying for Royal Holloway and I obviously hope it all works out properly and I get there and accepted in time (it’s not a quick process haha), but I have confidence I’ll be okay no matter what. I guess I’ll know in the next week what the plan is! Also, I can kinda laugh at myself now because trust me to be the person who changes uni after two weeks (#makemanchhappen didn't quite work out).

As much as I complain about it, I suppose I should probably thank my awful immune system for this great epiphany as maybe I wouldn’t have come to this conclusion so *easily* without it. Everything happens for a reason and I’m excited to see what the future holds for me (even if it all falls through and I end up taking a gap year).

Why a career in Drama is possible

"Oh, you want to do Drama at university? Do you think you could make a career out of that?"

 

The School Panto 2016

 

 

I've heard that quote or words to that effect quite a lot growing up. As someone who has loved drama as a subject and all aspects of acting and performance, I've always known that I wanted to study it at university. Honestly, I'm not worried about "not being able to make a career with a drama degree", because I know I will and hopefully it'll be successful. I'm hoping to pursue a Drama and English joint honours to be specific, and I've noticed that people tend to exhale and smile after mentioning the English part of my possible degree—as if that's the thing that's going to make sure I'm 'well-off' or in a respectable job (however you define that).  

I believe there's a big misconception about Drama as both a subject and a career, that it's both easy and useless. If you believe that that's fine, but I (and many others) know, that's definitely not the case.

I'll be honest, drama GCSE was a very packed subject. Both year 10 classes were full, with many inside and outside the classes believing that it was a "cop-out" subject, one that you take for a

"bit of fun" and that "anyone can pass it".

Let me tell you right now that it's not.

Both Drama GCSE and Drama AS level were possibly my most difficult subjects, for the following reasons:

• You're basically constantly working with other people so you NEED to learn how to work effectively in a group.
• There's so much writing it's ridiculous.
• There are so many other subjects relevant to Drama that you need to have some idea about in order to understand the context of a play (History, Sociology, English...etc).
• You have to be creative, logical and understanding when devising a performance. No matter what role you take during a practical exam, you need to approach it from the perspective of an actor, director and set designer.
• THERE'S SO MUCH YOU NEED TO LEARN.

 

My Drama written exam was admittedly the hardest one I sat, and even though I consider it my favourite subject— that exam was horrible and I never want to see it again. Yet, I'm proud that I managed to pass it and Drama has definitely built my confidence up, made me more creative and pushed me into countless opportunities.

 

Drama for a lot of people isn't just about acting; it certainly isn't just that for me. For a lot of people it is, and those are the people who are determined to make an acting career for themselves and will go to countless auditions and hope that they get into a conservatoire (acting school) or get an agent and will end up on the West End or on the big screen. I know a few people who will and are already on their way there.

I love acting, I really do. I also love script-writing, directing, choreographing, designing, dancing and developing each of these things into something.

That's what I'll do with a Drama degree.

I could go around schools and encourage confidence through performance. I could write plays about issues relevant today. I could produce films that encourage change and star in those films too. I could teach Drama. I could work in the media. I could review performances. I could go abroad and exchange different kinds of theatre with different cultures. I could star in a one-woman show and end up a damn successful actress and be like someone out of La La Land. I could be all of these things, just as you could become a child psychologist, YA author, or a pharmacist. Sam Williams, one of my peers who hopes to make an acting career for himself stated:

"I think it’s a great thing to peruse a career in drama as it can be used to entertain or even educate an audience and that’s a really important thing".

Apart from the fact many jobs don't care what degree you have, just as long as you have one; a degree in Drama will teach me things that I want to learn that no. other. degree. will. teach. me. Which is why I want to study it!

As thespian Cameron Davies put it:

"...the best way to get started is to be involved in as much as you possibly can, big or small, because getting yourself known in the industry is the best way to make contacts to further any sort of career".

I'm not saying that it's easy to launch yourself off into a fulfilling, happy career in Drama because it's not— but it is most certainly possible. So, these things may make it easier for you and this approach can be said about every subject and degree. If you want it to happen it will and I think you've got to have a positive outlook in order to achieve it.

So no, it's not a stupid and naïve career choice to study any aspect of Drama as a degree, it would actually be naïve to think that studying Drama is the worst thing you could possibly study because "you can't make a career out of it".

 

According to prospects.ac.uk:

"Three of the top four jobs held by graduates employed in the UK include actors, entertainers and presenters, arts officers, producers and directors and dancers and choreographers."

Destination	Percentage
Employed	76.6
Further study	9.9
Working and studying	3.9
Unemployed	5.2

Okay, I admit, maybe this turned into a bit of a rant but nonetheless my point still stands.
A career through a Drama degree is possible and trust me I will be proof.



Pink Mist - A Quick Review

Pink Mist by Owen Sheers – A QUICK REVIEW

 Photography by Mark Douet

“Who wants to play war?”

02/02/2017
Sherman Theatre

Pink Mist, inspired by numerous interviews with British soldiers, tells the story of three friends who all experience a different aspect of the Afganistan war and the family and friends that suffer as a result of these stories.

Before I begin I should probably state that my opinion may be slightly biased when it comes to Pink Mist for an accumulation of reasons. 

Firstly, I’m a huge fan of Owen Sheers. After studying him for my English Literature AS exams (which I’m sure a few of you can relate to) and meeting him as part of the Hay Festival’s Beacons Project (of which he’s an alumnus); I can conclude that he’s a very down-to-earth, descriptively gifted playwright and poet. 

Secondly, Pink Mist was performed in a Frantic Assembly style, and as someone who danced for 14 years and sees the emotional value of movement in relation to performance, I love Frantic Assembly. I took elements of it for my year 11 GCSE prac and it was the entire style of my year 12 prac, so to say I was excited to watch Pink Mist is an understatement. Pink Mist was originally written for radio performance, so it was really exciting to see how they implemented movement and actual physical performance.

Also, I apologise in advance for how vague I might be with regards to the plot – it’s just me trying to convince you to read the play.

Before the play had even begun I was captivated. On the stage there was only a wheelchair and a bench, it sparked my curiosity and I overheard many audience members comment on the very openness and bareness of the stage. It made sense when considering the Frantic Assembly style of course, but it was effective in leaving the canvas blank and having only a vague idea of what we were about to watch. Both the bench and the wheelchair were used almost like an extension of characters throughout the play. The bench gave the option of levels to give variety to the otherwise empty stage and the wheelchair in relation to movement only added to the variety of movements throughout the piece. It’s interesting to note how when the youngest soldier uses the wheelchair he’s obviously unable to get out of it and the contrast between the pretty consistent movement and then the stillness and stiffness that comes with being a wheelchair user was made extremely clear and added more depth to that raw emotion.

One of the most noteworthy parts of the play was the nightclub scene. One of the discharged soldiers found solace in music and clubbing. The sound by Jon Nicholls was delicate here, the combination of this sound, slow-motion dancing movements surrounding the present narrator and slow-motion walking from said narrator really emphasised the feeling of a club (not that I go to many to be fair). It was a change from the very heavy and intense theme of war and was really pleasant to watch for aesthetic reasons. It was something that inspired me to use a similar technique in my practical exam – which is now what I consider to be my favourite part of the exam.

The ending was powerful. The combination of low light, sharp sound and quick movement really hit home the tragedy that is war and how it affects numerous people in dissimilar ways. Arthur, Taff and Hads all performed their own stories in such an emotive way it was difficult to leave the theatre without questioning the effects of war in the modern day. The movement was only a catalyst for the messages and emotions that Owen Sheers successfully creates and I’m pretty sure I didn’t shut up about how brilliant it was for a solid week afterwards. It pushed on feelings that I don’t typically feel on a day-to-day basis which only added to how in awe I was of this play.

If you have any interest in literature or drama then I highly recommend you read this play! I watched it so long ago but I still remember it so vividly. The cast and crew really outdid themselves.

Here a few of my fellow thespians' opinions on Pink Mist:

"Really imaginative and the story was acted out really well, meaning it was easy and clear to follow." - Henry Marsden

 "Smart staging. Great use of lighting and SFX." - Sam Williams

Photography by Mark Douet

Credits to the Creative Team
Writer Owen Sheers
Directors John Retallack and George Mann
Designer Emma Cains
Lighting Designer Peter HarrisonComposer & Sound Designer Jon Nicholls 
Cast Peter Edwards, Rebecca Hamilton, Rebecca Killick, Dan Krikler, Zara Ramm and Alex Stedman

Sweet - A Sonnet

 

Sweet

 

She wants to set her toffee mind at ease

and though she tries to find a solution,

the wooden floor is hard against her knees.

Saving her thoughts for redistribution,

throwing sanity into sugar bags.

It's so sweet that it gives her cavities,

all cluttered and sickly. So she defrags

the constant aggression of gravity,

the confusion and the trepidation.

"You don't eat anything 'cept candy canes..."

Was that a question or allegation?

Doubt pulsing through her veins and it remains

'til she figures out it's all in her head

which is weaved together, with nylon thread.

 

 

 

This sonnet took me forever to write because I tried writing a Shakespearean style sonnet (ABABCDCDEFEFGG rhyme scheme), whilst staying true to Iambic Pentameter (10 syllables in each sentence, 5 stressed and 5 unstressed). Although sonnets are one of my favourite forms of poetry to both read and write, I never actually realised how much work it takes to stick so closely to a specific amount of syllables for each sentence (and it's surprising with how many words sound like they could have more than one syllable but actually don't).

This was just a little poem about mental health so I could become accustomed to this style of poetry. You may not read in connection with mental health which is completely fine - if you do have any other interpretations or can see where I've attempted to portray this pretty personal theme let me know!