Life Update

I started University of Manchester on the 13^th of September.

I left University of Manchester on the 28^th of September.

I moved to Royal Holloway University of London on the 9^th of October.

I have been at Royal Holloway for almost 2 weeks now and these have undoubtedly been two of the best weeks of my life. Call me cheesy (because I am and I’m ready to admit it) but it’s true. Within an hour of arriving I had already felt more at home here than I ever did in Manchester. My flatmates Molly, Kirsten, and Eugenia all helped me move in and we stayed up until like 1am talking (alongside Sandhiya, Poppy and Sophie). Molly has been a godsend and has made adapting to such a different environment so much easier for me (thanks for showing me how to use literally everything at Kingswood Halls and introducing me to everyone), and I didn’t actually properly know Sophie for the first few days here which I find mental because I cannot imagine this uni experience without her. I know it seems like such a short amount of time to connect to people, but I already know that Molly, Soph and I will be friends for a really long time (this is me being cheesy again). I guess it’s difficult to describe the connections you make with people, but I don’t think I could be with either of them and not laugh so hard that I can’t breathe. I mean if you have me on any social media you can probably tell I’m low-key obsessed with them (I apologise for the spam) but it’s chill because I’m pretty sure they’re the same. I think it’s actually INSANE how people you’ve known for two weeks can be better friends to you than people you’ve known for years.

That’s not to say though that I don’t miss anyone from Wales because I obviously do. I talk about my mam all the time and I miss my family’s closeness and openness quite a lot. I also think that my friends here know Jo and Gwen through the amount that I refer to them and talk about them. It’s weird because I really thought I’d rely on them a lot more after moving here like I did in Manchester but because I’m happier I don’t ring them up and cry anymore (that may be a bit personal but now I can laugh at myself). I’m really busy most days, which is weird because if somebody asked me what I was doing, I couldn’t really explain? I’m enjoying myself though, enough to be more independent… that’s what I’m trying to say.

I was actually pretty hesitant about if I’d like my accommodation at Royal Holloway at first because I knew I’d have to take a University bus from my accommodation to get to my lectures and seminars which I didn’t think I’d like but I actually really do, I keep bumping into people that I kinda know and we end up making conversation the entire journey. There’s a really nice community feeling here which I love, so it kinda makes up for being the furthest away accommodation from the university.

Contrastingly though, straight after my first Creative Writing seminar, I knew with 100% certainty that making the move from English Literature and Drama to Creative Writing and Drama was one of the best ‘life-decisions’ I’ve ever made. I was really excited to start my work (which is probably one of the most ‘Ceri-Anne is a massive swot’ things I’ve ever said but still), admittedly I left it until last minute like most uni students but I enjoyed writing it and I’m excited to get it back. I have the same feelings towards studying drama here too, I can’t really compare to the Manchester course because I didn’t get to properly experience it but I love it. I love the introductory practical work we’ve been doing and even though I’m not *totally* fussed on studying Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, I like the kind of text and theatre work we’re doing too.

I’ve had a LOT of people (family, friends, strangers etc) call me “Brave” for making the move from Manchester to Royal Holloway, which I actually really appreciate. I’m not gonna lie when I say it’s been A LOT of stress to actually manage to do and I think people are sick of me talking about it but it’s not every day you decide to completely change the course of your life so maybe my repetitive nature here is a bit more understandable (I’m trying to justify it, sue me). Moral of the story, if you don’t like something… change it. To paraphrase what Molly’s mam said; a lot of people try to ‘stick out’ places when they aren’t happy there. I’m SO glad I wasn’t one of those people.

This is the best decision I have ever made (plus, Kingswood make tasty Veggie fajitas so how can I complain?).

Moving Forward

Wow.

So, it’s been a while since I actually wrote a blog post. A lot has happened in the time since I last posted something.

With regards to the important stuff, I think the most important thing is that I’ve decided to pursue creative writing. With this blog and my Instagram poetry account (@unpretty.poems, shameless plug) in mind, I feel that this is something so painfully obvious to me and I’m annoyed at myself for not realising that this is my calling sooner. It’s like when you’re searching for something in the fridge and for the life of you it isn’t there but as soon as you take a step back – it’s been on the shelf right in front of you the entire time. To me, this is kinda like that.

As I’m writing this I’m currently studying English Literature and Drama at the University of Manchester. Also, as I’m writing this, I know this isn’t where I want to be. The main reason being that Manchester doesn’t offer Drama and Creative Writing, knowing that this is the course I wish to follow. I also haven’t really connected with the city, and I feel pretty isolated here leaving me with a depressed mix of emotions, I guess that just plays a part in my thought process for leaving.

Therefore, I’ve decided to do what a few of my friends have called “risky” and “ballsy” (which aren’t exactly two adjectives you’d think of first when you think of ‘Ceri-Anne Gatehouse’, but I suppose they do actually apply here).  I am switching universities.

It’s weird because I’ve ALWAYS been someone decisive in the sense that when I’ve decided something I typically see it through and I’ve never really had any problems with thinking about my future because I’ve always had such a concise and clear plan in mind.  (In a really non-braggy way) Anything I’ve worked hard for and wanted, I’ve managed to achieve somehow, so through doing this I was pretty sure that this was another one of those things that I’d work hard for and get. It was. ‘Was’; past tense. I genuinely thought a few weeks ago that Manchester and Drama and English Literature was this plan, but I see now that it’s not. When I first arrived, I had a great weekend and met some great people who I’ll be extremely sad to miss (especially my girl, Olya). However, I got tonsillitis last week which not only meant that I missed out on freshers but also that I had SO MUCH time to think about who I am, what I want, and what I’m doing. I started to think about all of the things that make me happy; The Beacons Project, fiction, POETRY, Hay Festival, (ignoring the fact I haven’t posted in forever) blogging, and during this slumber I even came up with a book idea that I’m going to follow and see where it takes me. I am surrounded by creative writing in my day to day life and it brings me so much fulfilment that I am fully shocked that I didn’t realise this sooner. I want to work on my writing and I want to push myself creatively further than I have before so that one day I am the interviewee at Hay Festival rather than the interviewer.

After (numerous) sad and crying phone calls to my mam this idea of ‘why don’t I just pursue it?’ came to mind. I’d only ever really mentioned creative writing at degree level once to one of my best friends; Joanna, but I felt I’d already made my bed with English Literature and Drama; which I obviously enjoy otherwise I wouldn’t have decided on it in the first place. Yet, here I am… writing a blogpost… about leaving. I did actually go to an English Lit lecture on Monday just to see if I’d have a change of heart, but I hadn’t. As I sat studying Francis Bacon’s Essay ‘Of Friendship’ (1625); I knew I didn’t want to just study the work of other people but fully work on my own.

Naturally, this has caused a bit of a rush and a stressful week because I’ve been in Manchester for two weeks, but my insurance choice Royal Holloway, University of London is 1) still accepting applicants through clearing and 2) offering me a space on their course ‘Drama and Creative Writing’. So, tonsillitis and all the support from my family and close friends in mind… that is where I’m going to go. Massive shout-out to the following people for being nothing but honest and supportive during this time especially; my mam (sorry for not letting you sleep along with me), my nan, Goggy, Joanna & Gwen (all of those phone calls), Camila and Ieu (words of complete wisdom and logic), and anybody else that I did or almost cried to about the situation and my future.

I’m still in the process of applying for Royal Holloway and I obviously hope it all works out properly and I get there and accepted in time (it’s not a quick process haha), but I have confidence I’ll be okay no matter what. I guess I’ll know in the next week what the plan is! Also, I can kinda laugh at myself now because trust me to be the person who changes uni after two weeks (#makemanchhappen didn't quite work out).

As much as I complain about it, I suppose I should probably thank my awful immune system for this great epiphany as maybe I wouldn’t have come to this conclusion so *easily* without it. Everything happens for a reason and I’m excited to see what the future holds for me (even if it all falls through and I end up taking a gap year).